


TARDIS = Horse

by friendoftheJabberwock



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Gen, I am becoming the Midas of crack please send help, the TARDISes-are-just-evolved-horses AU we've all been waiting for
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-18
Updated: 2021-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-16 17:53:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28835181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/friendoftheJabberwock/pseuds/friendoftheJabberwock
Summary: The TARDIS just wants some friends - some equine friends, to be precise.
Relationships: Tenth Doctor & Rose Tyler, The Doctor's TARDIS & Original Horse Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 5





	TARDIS = Horse

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Raindropsonwhiskers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raindropsonwhiskers/gifts).



> I did not intend for my first Doctor Who fic to be this ridiculous. Please blame my dear [Raindropsonwhiskers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raindropsonwhiskers/pseuds/Raindropsonwhiskers) for proposing the hypothesis that TARDISes are, in fact, basically horses. I didn't do it! Well yes, actually I did. Oops.

"So," asked Rose, "where to next? Somewhere calmer, I hope."

The Doctor perked up. "The TARDIS has been feeling a bit peaky lately, I've noticed. Not entirely unexpected – cavorting around space and time can get a little taxing."

"You think?" Rose laughed.

He grinned. "I figured we could travel to mid-20th-century London. The TARDIS would blend in nicely and could get some rest and relaxation." He rolled the Rs. Perhaps this wasn't all on behalf of the TARDIS. "You think this old ship would like a new coat of paint or something? I've never thought about it before, but –"

But Rose would never hear the end of that sentence, because just then the whole TARDIS sort of jostled and jerked before settling down somewhere unexpected with a distinct _thud._

"What, I was trying to be helpful, what's the matter now?" The Doctor bustled towards the door and began to exit only to be swiftly repulsed. He nearly fell backwards.

"That. That is a horse nose," said Rose.

"In fact," said the Doctor, pushing on his glasses, "that is an entire horse."

The TARDIS beeped happily.

The horse neighed with seemingly pleasant surprise.

"It's just a normal 20th-century Earth horse," said the Doctor, while furiously sonic-ing away. "But the TARDIS seems downright delighted for the first time in – I don't even know!"

"The TARDIS is just a horse girl at heart," Rose suggested in amusement. "I had that phase, once."

"Oh! No, that is quite incorrect, as I have just been…" He winced. "…vigorously informed. The – the TARDIS is the brethren of the horse – is one with the horse – _is_ a horse?"

The horse in question, a tall bay, certainly seemed to think so. It shoved past the Doctor and Rose without deigning to notice them and began to converse with obvious excitement. Amid the flurry of beeps and whinnies Rose turned to the Doctor. "Why don't we go outside for now, since we seem to have been thoroughly displaced?"

The Doctor nodded quickly, and the two ducked outside only to find themselves in a sunny pasture at the center of an entire group of horses that had converged on the TARDIS.

"Well," said the Doctor brightly, "she really is a horse! Or at least a horse-whisperer."

"I'm impressed!"

They made their way out of the clump, the horses too intent on meeting their unusual new friend to pay them much mind, and flopped down under a handy tree and observed the scene.

"Horsies."

"Lots of horsies."

"I spend innumerable lifetimes seeing the greatest and the grandest and the most glorious of the universe, and yet it's the little things that just pop up out of nowhere that are the surprises. Hmm."

"You know, it may not be all that surprising –"

"No?"

"Well, it is and all, but at the same time, they're not entirely different."

The Doctor gestured towards the horses and then the TARDIS, eyebrows raised.

Rose shrugged. "They're both used for transportation, they're both sentient… it's not much, but maybe the TARDIS just sees herself as an evolved horse and wants to make some friends."

"Ah," said the Doctor. "That's an idea. And you're forgetting the most important similarity."

"What's that?"

"They both have opinions. Many, many opinions. You know, I once tried to ride a horse, only it turned out that the horse was more riding me, it was so bad I almost had to regenerate –"

"So," Rose said loudly, "the TARDIS is just lonely."

"Lonely? Nah. She has me!"

"Oh yeah, and I'd _love_ having you inside my head all the time. I bet your thoughts never shut up, either."

"Hey! Are you implying my own ship is sick of me?"

Rose put on an innocent smile. "Maybe."

The Doctor snorted, and they were silent for a while, just feeling the cool breeze and moist grass.

In contrast, the new Horse Friends were noisy for a while. For a very long while, in fact. But there was all the time in the universe, so why not?


End file.
